Ok Sylvia, now you aren’t even trying

browneOne of my favorite things about the New Year is all the amazing celebrity predictions that come out from reputable psychics/astrologers. As history shows, their accuracy rate is…um….you know what? Let’s not go there. Kind of not relevant for this post anyway.

That said, Montel Williams’ former go-to psychic Sylvia Browne has obviously lost her mojo now that Montel has no talk show for her to appear on and astonish the gullible public with her “knowledge,” because her 2009 celebrity predictions are beyond bor-ing, and quite honestly really predict-able.

Paris goes to jail? Duh, already happened. And the Olsen twins getting questioned regarding drugs? Yeah, that happened too. Try again. Angie and Brad in marriage trouble? Yawn, been reading about that for months.

Based on the press release that went out this week, here is just a brief list of her “predictions”…be sure to take it with you on your next trip to Vegas for that awesome betting-board thing they have…

  • “This might surprise you, but everyone went “oh” when I said Brad Pitt and Jen Aniston were going to break up. But I’m telling you now, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are in real big trouble. They could very well separate towards the end of the year.”
  • Clint Eastwood will have some leg problems. It almost seems like a very, very bad case of varicose veins that are going to have to be stripped. It’s going to be very painful for him.”
  • Paris Hilton will land in jail over an accident. That isn’t, I don’t think, a big surprise to anybody.”
  • Britney Spears will become ill and not be able to perform for 4 months. And that’s toward the mid-part of the year.”
  • Katie Couric is replaced from her position on the CBS nightly news. I don’t know who it’ll be, but it’ll be someone who has been on one of the Good Morning America shows or something like that [to replace Couric].”
  • Nicole Richie will separate from Joel Madden.”
  • “The Olson Twins will be picked up and questioned regarding drugs.”
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1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Barry said,

    wow…let me go out on a limb and predict Amy Whinehouse will get in legal trouble for drug possession…


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